Custard, clitorises & golden geese

It’s The Wonderful World of Eggs Quiz!

Season 02 of TOPIA is inspired by The Egg. These 46 questions are very loosely based around the world’s favourite breakfast – a bit too loosely in places

Which came first, the egg or the quiz? For centuries philosophers have pondered this question. In pondering this question, they created a quiz of their own. This is that quiz.

This tricky 46-question quiz promises to put your general knowledge to the test. Especially knowledge of eggs and endangered species, which is kind of highly-specific knowledge rather than general knowledge, but hey. Because Season 02 of TOPIA is inspired by The Egg, this quiz includes custard, clitorises and golden geese. Like any good quiz should. Good luck!


(PS. Don’t scroll too far, too fast, or you’ll hit the answers.)


tony wu shooting star

Incredible though it may seem, not all animals give birth like humans. Some animals give birth in the form of eggs! Can you name these oviparous beasts?

(NB. We were going to give you a definition of ‘oviparous,’ but you all know it means egg-laying. And that ‘monotremes’ are mammals that lay eggs.)

  1. Small bird of the Americas, the smallest is the bee and the largest is the giant, but it’s still quite small, really.
  2. Their arch-enemy is the Shredder (and strictly speaking these dudes can’t even lay eggs).
  3. Caviar is traditionally roe from which fish of the Black and Caspian Sea.
  4. Which egg-layer’s name is derived from the ancient Greek κροκόδιλος meaning “lizard”.
  5. Similar to (4), but will see you later.
  6. Egg-layer namechecked in anarchic comedy that first aired on BBC 1 on 5 October 1969.
  7. Only species in which the male carries the eggs in a pouch, gestating them for 30 days, about as long as John Squires’s short-lived band of the same name lasted.
  8. Monotremes are mammals that lay eggs, such as the platypus and which other animal?
  9. You wouldn’t think it was an animal but it releases millions of eggs all the same, mostly off the coast of Australia.
  10. Lays the largest eggs of any living land mammal.


Every single culture in the world prizes eggs as food. If you want to make the world sing in perfect harmony, give them eggs for breakfast. And maybe some orange juice. Can you name these eggy dishes?

  1. Classic Roman dish with hard cheese, guanciale (or pancetta) and pepper. No cream!
  2. A croque monsieur with an egg on top.
  3. Hard-boiled eggs stuffed with mayonnaise and mustard.
  4. Portuguese egg custard tart, often served by nuns in Lisbon.
  5. Meal traditionally served on a Tuesday, but served on a Thursday to replace steak, which was fed to the vegetarian dog in Shirley Valentine.
  6. Poached eggs on Canadian bacon on top of an English muffin covered with Hollandaise sauce, it says here.
  7. Bread dipped in raw eggs and fried. Also known as eggy-bread.
  8. Italian dish that literally translates as “fried.”
  9. Mexican eggs poached in salsa and served on tortillas.
  10. A variant on the Scotch egg, with black pudding and pickled egg.


Our podcast guest this season is Lucy Cooke, author of Bitch, which explores female sexuality in the animal world. Can you match the animal to its convention-busting mating behaviour?

  1. British fen raft spider
  2. Topi antelopes
  3. African spotted hyena
  4. Dolphin
  5. Caribbean chalk bass fish 
  6. Clownfish or anemonefish


a. Has an eight-inch clitoris shaped like a penis
b. Has a female brain and male gonads
c. Eats her fella after mating
d. Changes sex up to 20 times a day
e. Has a clitoris shaped like  a “oversized fleshy burger buns”
f. Gather in their hundreds to battle for a prime bull


Experts estimate that between 200 and 2,000 species become extinct every year. Some of these species are endangered. Some have already left us. But can you guess which is which?

  1. Kākāpō or owl parrot (pictured above)
  2. Great auk
  3. Bluefin tuna
  4. Purple frog
  5. Western black rhinoceros
  6. Galapagos penguin
  7. Passenger pigeon
  8. Yangtze river dolphin
  9. Monarch butterfly
  10. Sea lion

Eggs-press yourself!

Spanish speakers refer to their testicles as eggs, but English-speakers are far more refined in their egg-based metaphors, which is more than you can say for their testicles. Can you complete these eggy English sayings?

  1. To look foolish: EGG _____  _______ _________.
  2. To be overly careful in dealing with a sensitive person: _____________ ____ EGG__________.
  3. To risk everything on the success of one thing: ______ ______ ______ EGGS _____ _____ ________.
  4. Go too far in embellishing something: _______EGG ______ _____________.
  5. Boffin: EGG________.
  6. You can’t give advice to people who don’t need it: _____ ______ ______ _______ __________ ___ _______ EGGS.
  7. A thing that is partly good and partly bad: __ ____________ EGG.
  8. An Aesop’s Fable about greed: ____ ________ ______ _______ _____ __________ EGGS.
  9. Sacrifices are necessary: ______ ______ ______ ___ ____________ _________ _________ EGGS.
  10. Without any doubt: ______ _________ _______  EGGS ____ EGGS.


Are you sure you want to see the answers?


  1. Hummingbird. Hummingbirds have the best bird names: fiery topaz, white-necked jacobin, buff-tailed sicklebill, sooty barbthroat, dusky-throated hermit, Geoffroy’s daggerbill… great work, bird-naming people!
  2. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Known “Hero Turtles” in many regions, including the UK, because ninja was a bit much for 1980s’ adolescent sensibilities.
  3. Wild sturgeon. Not to be confused with Nicola Sturgeon, who is fully domesticated. 
  4. Crocodile.  
  5. Alligator. The saying “See you later, alligator” was coined by Henry Morton Stanley after his famous meeting with David Livingstone in Tanzania, to which Dr. Livingstone replied “In a while, crocodile.” 
  6. Python. Other notable comedies named after snakes include Blackadder and the film Anaconda
  7. Seahorse. Despite their name, seahorses are quite unsuitable for three-day eventing and dressage, as they are very small.
  8. The echidna lays leathery eggs once a year and is one of only three known egg laying mammals in the world.
  9. Coral. While compiling this quiz we learned that coral is an actual animal and not some rock in the sea, as previously assumed.
  10. Ostrich. The most famous ostrich is Oswald. Sadly, Bernie Clifton’s eggs have never been measured.


  1. Carbonara. The Italian word for “cheek” is “guancia”, the part of the pig where guanciale comes from.
  2. Croque Madame. There is also a Croque Mademoiselle, but no one’s sure what to put in it. 
  3. Deviled eggs. So called because the Satan likes his eggs spicy. 
  4. Pastel de nata. Supposedly invented at the Hieronymites Monastery in Lisbon. 
  5. Egg and chips. Or “chips and egg,” if you’re that kind of person. 
  6. Eggs Benedict. I looked up what “Canadian bacon” is but you’re best off not knowing.  
  7. French toast. In Kramer vs. Kramer Dustin Hoffman breaks the eggs for French toast into a cup. Don’t be like Dustin. Use a bowl. 
  8. Frittata. Frittata is sometimes called a “crustless quiche” but to be quite honest, if your quiche hasn’t got a crust, it really has no business calling itself a quiche.
  9. Huevos rancheros. Mexicans have the best breakfast in all of Latin America. 
  10. Manchester egg. Invented by Ben Holden in The Castle pub on Oldham Street.


  1. c
  2. e
  3. b


  1. Extant. This flightless bird from New Zealand is trouble, but help is on its way from video game developers.
  2. Hunted for its down, the great auk was the beneficiary of some of  the earliest environmental protection laws, but it still died out 150 years ago.
  3. Extant. A highly sought-after delicacy in Asia, numbers have declined dramatically in recent decades.
  4. Extant. Only 135 of this rare species remain, of which just 3 are female. You can help them here.
  5. Hunted into extinction for its horn, the last one died in 2011.
  6. Extant. The only penguin found north of the equator, there are just 2000 left.
  7. Hunted into extinction. The last remaining passenger pigeon, named Martha, died at Cincinnati Zoo in 1914.
  8. None have been spotted since 2002, the first dolphin species to be driven to extinction by humans.  
  9. Extant. Adult monarchs live just four to five weeks, considerably less than British monarchs.
  10. Extant. Sea lions couldn’t die out, could they? Well, we killed off the Steller’s sea cow, we’re capable of anything.

Eggspress yourself!

  1. Egg on your face 
  2. Walking on eggshells
  3. Put all your eggs in one basket 
  4. Overegg the pudding (OR custard) 
  5. Egghead 
  6. You can’t teach your grandmother to suck eggs
  7. A curate’s egg
  8. The goose that laid the golden eggs
  9. You can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs
  10. As sure as eggs is eggs 

Back to the quiz! ↑ Back to Round 5

Questions by Daniel Tunnard. Answers also by Daniel Tunnard.

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